


MINECRAFT GANG AND THE BIG MANS - chatgroup created by PogChamp

by Skinninglemons4fun



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dadza pog, Idk kinda is crack, I’m unoriginal, PogChamp, dont hate me I know it’s overdone :(, dteam - Freeform, idk what else to tell you my guy, im not sure, its the boys (and Niki), others from smp, sleepy bois inc - Freeform, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27365224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skinninglemons4fun/pseuds/Skinninglemons4fun
Summary: silbur woot changed his name to Itsyaboi69Itsyaboi69: what up it’s ya boy #69 ahahaBayblade: shut up, slender man lookin assItsyaboi69: :(
Relationships: Everyone & Everyone, none :)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 409





	1. Lmao u a slytherin? Cos u slyther your way into my heart

02:57 (BST)

_Silbur woot_ changed their name to _itsyaboi69_

Itsyaboi69: what up it’s ya boy #69 ahaha

Bayblade: shut up, slender man lookin ass

Itsyaboi69: :(

Bayblade: oh what, you gonna cry, gonna piss your pants.?

Itsyaboi69: :,(

MuffinMan: lAnguage!!!! ಠ_ಠ

PogChamp: bbh stop youre weirdchamping rn

also youre kinda cring and also very bad

Kettle: Hey don’t weirdchamp bad when your username is literally a twitch emote.

PogChamp: it my branding big mahn,, i do It for the primes and the women, for i would be noting without them.

Tuba: I thoudht u sayd thet u hated womon?

PogChamp: ...yeah youre right or whatevr.

Phil: Why are you guys like this. It’s literally 2 in the morning right now. 

Itsyaboi69: ghost spawning

PogChamp: got the prime on my mind amehn am I right????

Bayblade: I would say potato farming, but that bits been dead for like months now

Tuba: Harry Potter marathon!!!!

Kettle: procrastinating sleep, what did you expect honestly

Phil: Typical, also Techno could you please turn your music down, some of us are trying to sleep. 

Bayblade: what would I get in return though

Phil: the knowledge that you’re less of a nuisance.

Bayblade: hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Nah

itsyaboi69: honestly phil let him be youre on the complete opposite of this house Im right next to him If I can deal with anime waifu shit you could too

PokimaineV2: did someone call me I saw Harry Potter somewhere

Tuba: yeah!! Im watehing the muvies right naw.

PokimaineV2: which one are you on ?

Tuba: chamber of seecrets!

PokimaineV2: ah , I see .

I liked the books better tbh

Itsyaboi69: god thats such a ravenclaw thing to say

PokimaineV2: what , you trying to get a go at me huh ? You griffindoor stuck up .

Itsyaboi69: take that back gogy. 

PokimaineV2: nah

Tuba: hey guys whats yoar houzes??

Techno: the claw babee 

PogChamp: roar 

Kettle: slytherin

Phil: Ravenclaw

MuffinMan: I think it was hufflepuff | (• ◡•)|

Nihachu: hi sorry I just woke up are we talking about houses? Mine is hufflepuff

Foxthing: slytherin because I’m cooler than all of you B)

Crown™: red and yellow

RamSchlamm: what do you think fucktard

MuffinMan: hey!!! Language ಠ╭╮ಠ

RamSchlamm: sorry, what do you think fricktard

Quackster: sadly it’s hufflepuff

Jacobz: hey, show some house pride big Q… 

Quackster: but it’s the worst house man!

Jacobz: you take that back >8(

Tuba: well im a revenxlaw so…

PogChamp: honestly lets be honest im probably the best option for quidditch captain,, im big very sporty and also attract women.

Itsyaboi69: the scar on your knee says otherwise Tommy

PogChamp: NO WILBUR WE TALKED ABOUT THIS YOU CANT BRING IT UP, MY DIGNITY MY PRIDE REMEMBER??!

Itsyaboi69: how you do even manage to break the plate and not realise it

PogChamp: its called “blocking out them haters” 

PokimaineV2: what happened again ?

Itsyaboi69: a month ago we were watching something on the tv and tommy dropped a plate of something on the ground, we couldnt hear the shatter because the tv was way too loud so when they started talking about Jesus he tried to kneel down but then got a quarter of a plate stuck in between his joints.

PogChamp: fellas I can tell you that getting that out was not pogchamp at all.

Kettle: yikes what did you do Tommy, kill someone or something.

PogChamp: big d, It was probably my power and rhage that frightened the gods above me. I’m a threat no doubt..

Phil: He cried all the way to the hospital, it was pretty funny actually, besides the earrape that he committed.

Bayblade: I couldnt hear for two weeks after that.

Completely deaf

Itsyaboi69: HI IM WILBUR AND I AM OLD AND BAD AND ALSO DO NOT LOON VERY NICE

PogChamp: the boy took my phone help me

Phil: On my way I guess.

Quackster: fs in the chat everybody

Foxthing: f

Nihachu: f

Crown™: f

RamSchlamm: L

Kettle: f

PokimaineV2: Ff

Jacobz: ffffff

Bayblade: fs

Tuba: F

MuffinMan: F (._.)

Bayblade: I hear tommy’s feet through my wall

I hate this household

RamSchlamm: couldn’t empathize, those Europeans am I right?

Foxthing: wow we’ve gone from ruling to scrutinizing minorities. what’s next mass homicide?

RamSchlamm: ...it’s not a no

PokimaineV2: wait what ? aight this conversation should end right about here . I’m heading owt so gn .

Nihachu: yeah it’s like 3am for me, so I’m gonna go get ready for the stream tmr.

MuffinMan: goodnight!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

Jacobz: I’m actually gonna starts streaming, anybody gonna get on the smp?

Crown™: Im down for whatever

Quackster: nah gotta do a thing with the lc boys, have fun tho

Foxthing: already on the server.

RamSchlamm: god what are you a fucking rooster go to sleep dumbass

MuffinMan: if you do that one more time you’re not going to be a muffin for long.

Foxthing: sleep is for the w e a k

-

  
  


03:21 (BST)

Snipsnap: I just finished my chickfila what did I miss

Bayblade: nothing of importance

Snipsnap: Jesus what time is it for you

Bayblade: you’re asking me? Pathetic 

Kettle: sap what’s your hp house 

Snipsnap: dunno, never done the quiz before

PogChamp: Sapnap you are dumb and not intelligent

Phil: WHY ARE YOU STILL UP???

HOW DID YOU GET YOUR PHONE YOU GREMLIN!

PogChamp: finders keepers

Itsyaboi69: he used a bobby pin and got into the safe.

PogChamp: i am inevitable.

im newtons constant and I’m unstoppable.

Fear me bwahahahaha

PokimaineV2: oh my god SHUT UP

PogChamp: whatever old man.

PokimaineV2: also sap when I wake up I’m gonna make you do the quiz , you know that right ?

Snipsnap: yeah… Ive kinda accepted defeat

PokimaineV2: good … now please for the love of Christ let me sleep

PogChamp: is no an answer?

-

  
  


03:32 (BST)

PogChamp: I guess not

PokimaineV2: STOP


	2. To pineapple or not to pineapple

12:45 (BST)

Itsyaboi69: guys I need answers 

Snipsnap: what

Phil: ?

Itsyaboi69: if one and two is three, and four and five is nine, should I get a pizza rn

Tuba: wilber pls tell me how that corelates

RamSchlamm: oh please, is that even a question? Get a hot pocket

Itsyaboi69: whats a hot pocket?

PokimaineV2: we are NOT doing this again

Itsyaboi69: my need for knowledge can only be quenched by its equivalent

Anyways answer my question because I don’t think we have that around here

Phil: Just get something from the freezer, we probably have left over Chinese sitting in there.

PogChamp: hey hey no dont even try

That sweet and sour pork is MINE, get it

Bayblade: oh the ones in that green box

PogChamp: and that big post it that said back off

Bayblade: huh… how funny

PogChamp: blade, what did you do

Bayblade: …

PogChamp: techno

Bayblade: :)

Itsyaboi69: but like going downstairs takes effort and time none of which I have rn

Nihachu: I think pepperoni pizza sounds good

Snipsnap: nah dawg get something that has just a shit ton of meat

MuffinMan: SAP!!! (ง'̀-'́)ง

Foxthing: wait isn’t it like 5 am for u guys

Why does no one here have a healthy sleep schedule

Snipsnap: says the guy who spent the last two nights rewatching Disney cartoons

Foxthing: gravity falls exists beyond the spectrum of time 

Itsyaboi69: ANSWER MY QUESTION YOU DINGUSES

Snipsnap: eh why not

Itsyaboi69: thank you

Bayblade: [insert voice recording]

*muffled screaming, somebody’s throwing pillows at the camera man. You hear a faint holler, before “you cannibal eating bastard those were mine” and then technoblade’s laugh. There is more struggle before it stops. “Techno are you recording thi-?”*

PogChamp: this is abuse, ABUSE im tellling you. We gotta ring the popo QUICK.

Bayblade: L

PogChamp: Tubbo my guy, wanna ditch these lozers and get burritos downtown???

Tuba: shure!! Meet yu at 1!!  
  


Quackster: BURRITOS??

PogChamp: YEAH BIG Q, BURRITOZ

Jacobz: IS IT BURRITO TIME 

Kettle: no its “lets give dream some silence” time.

PogChamp: awh you are no fun dream, you are like clay because you are very gross and sticky >:(((((((

Wait a minute no that sounds wrong

Phil: OKAY Tommy phone down if I see anymore coming from you its game over you hear me?

PogChamp: …

Phil: Thomas

PogChamp: fine FINE, im just gonna go get some lunch with tubs.

Tuba: alredy there :)

Jacobz: does anybody here know how to make a tattoo hurt less? My hand is stinging

Nihachu: I think just put lotion over it, or aloe vera gel if you have any

PokimaineV2: karl tatto update !

Itsyaboi69: ^

Tuba: ^^^^

MuffinMan: ^_^

Quackster: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Jacobz: its… okay ig, like its really fun when i show it to people at work, but I also feel like im being secretly judged or something

Snipsnap: wait what

Jacobz: yeah, i see people just staring at it… kinda makes me feel weird idk

Itsyaboi69: karl listen to me, fuck the haters man.

Phil: agreed

MuffinMan: you just gotta know that you’re you, and they will accept you if they really are good people.

Also wilbur, language ◉_◉

Quackster: ++++ words of wisdom from someone called MuffinMan, wow never could imagine that

PokimaineV2: simple solution just tell them that your friends with georgenotfound . 

Always works trust me .

Snipsnap: wow… egotistical much

PokimaineV2: at least I have one

Quackster: OOOHHH you got ROASTED

Snipsnap: oh yeah, sue me “quackster”

_Kettle_ muted _Snipsnap_ for 1 hour

 _Kettle_ muted _Quackster_ for 1 hour

 _Kettle_ muted _PokimaineV2_ for 1 hour

Kettle: let this be a warning to all of you.

Give me my sleep, and we can co exist peacefully.

Jacobz: how did you even get admin permissions 

Kettle: I find my ways.

-

  
  


13:25 (BST)

Tuba: hey guys, guess what

It’s me, big tommy but from tubbos phone !!!!!  
POGCHAMP

Phil: Tommy give Tubbo back his phone, It was so nice and quiet for a few minutes.

Tuba: Hay Im beck.

Anyvays i just wanted to shere sume photos of us at lanch.

[insert two pictures]

*the first picture has tommy trying to open a chili packet, but ends up with it getting all over his face, the image is blurry probably because tubbo was laughing too hard. The second photo is of them holding the burritos, tubbo’s in between his lips and nose like a moustache and tommy’s like a cigar. They both have masks hooked around their ears.*

Nihachu: awww 

MuffinMan: you guys are just so adorable (｡◕‿‿◕｡)

Crown™: cool!!

Bayblade: yall disgust me, to the core

MuffinMan: ?????

Bayblade: what is this affection? GOD youre even worse that tommy’s chat

Tuba: tommy wants me tu tel yu that he’s gaggig right nuw.

Itsyaboi69: I would have shown you my pizza but phil techno and I finished it in less than 15 minutes.

RamSchlamm: what flavour did u get wilbur

Itsyaboi69: hawaiian

Kettle: I have risen from my slumber because what did I just read

Who puts a fruit on pizza

Crown™: disgustang

Nihachu: hey don’t be mean! pineapple isn’t that bad

Kettle: ya, if you’re a psychopath.

Itsyaboi69: says the mother fucker who ate his cat’s shit

MuffinMan: sTOPPP WITH THE LANGUAGE ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

You potatoes have got to stop using such vile forms of expressions!!

Bayblade: dream the next time i see you im going to get the largest sized HAWAIIAN pizza and im going to slap you with it

maybe ill ask them to add some extra pineapple just for you 

Kettle: oh please, as if youll ever get the gall to pull that off.

Phil: Don’t worry, if he doesn’t I will :).

Jacobz: WOAH Philza minecraft coming in with that HEATED reply!  
  
Phil: If I know that I’m right, I’m going to keep to it no matter what the cost.

Crown™: hey karl whats youre standing on this?

Jacobz: well lets just say,

If i tell you, im gonna get in big trouble either way.

so i think its better if i keep it undisclosed for now.

Itsyaboi69: smart man jacobs, smart man.

Kettle: yeah because he KNOWS that fighting me would be worse than those posers over on the other end.

Itsyaboi69: oh shut up floridan man, what you’re gonna call in your simp army now huh? Oh wait you cant they’re all 14 YEAR OLD TEENAGERS.

_PogChamp_ muted _Kettle_ for 1 hour

 _Pogchamp_ muted _Itsyaboi69_ for 1 hour

 _PogChamp_ unmuted _Quackster_

 _PogChamp_ unmuted _Snipsnap_

 _PogChamp_ unmuted _PokimaineV2_

 _PogChamp_ has temporarily banned _Kettle_ for 24 hours

 _PogChamp_ has removed _Kettle’s_ admin rights

PogChamp: order has been restored.

Phil: Thanks tommy, now hand over that phone.

PogChamp: yesn’t

Phil: better lock your doors before I come and wreak havoc in the next 5 minutes.

PogChamp: already did that, thanks for your concern though :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again
> 
> I have nothing to say. Pineapple is good on pizza and you can’t tell me otherwise


	3. loverboi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STRICTLY PLATONIC, trust me I’m not into writing that kinda stuff

15:17 (BST)

  
  


Tuba: hey guys I was just wunderang whun the meetup was again?

Crown™: next week saturday I think

Niki am I right

Nihachu: yep, at about 2 ish?

Phil: Tubbo do you need us to pick you up? You’re house is on the way anyways.

Tuba: shure!! if it isn’t an enconveanance

Phil: Not at all

PogChamp: tubbo we are going to have such a pogchamp time annoying phil in the car

Itsyaboi69: and Im gonna plug my ears to drown out the chaos around me

PogChamp: trust me big w, when i get control of the aux the music is gonna be so loud that you won’t be able to hear your own thoughts

Bayblade: whats on the playlist again

PogChamp: it’s a surprise >:))))

Bayblade: ok then

Jacobz: man I wish that this stupid pandemic didn’t exist, really feeling the fomo rn

Quackster: aww it’s ok karl don’t worry I’ll call u on discord or something

Jacobz: really???

Quackster: yeah why not

MuffinMan: ooh count me in!! (^̮^)

Kettle: better idea how about hypixel mini games 

Quackster: I’m honestly down with anything

Jacobz: yeah!!!!! Hypixel for the win :))))

Snipsnap: yo dream 

Kettle: what 

Snipsnap: I love you bro

Kettle: woah, I love you too dude

Snipsnap: <3

Kettle: <3

PogChamp: could you stop making out in the groupchat there are kids here

you are making me uncomfortable

Kettle: Oh come on Tommy

Snipsnap: we are homiesexuals, it’s what we do.

PokimaineV2: dude , where’s my hug bro

Snipsnap: *bro hug*

Kettle: *bro hug*

PokimaineV2: thanks bro

Bayblade: y’all care about affection? HA! pathetic

Who needs love and attention when you have youtube

PogChamp: AMHEN BROTHER

Phil: You mother fucks, 

PogChamp: except for you phil, you are the exception because of how big and man you are

Bayblade: yeah whatever the child said.

MuffinMan: phil I expected better of you! ರ_ರ

Phil: meh

Itsyaboi69: hey guys does anybody wanna play any among us today? I kinda need more content for the toob

PokimaineV2: depends , what’s in it for me ?   
Ah im messing with you , idm

Bayblade: if there’s clout to be made, then there’s clout that ill take

Kettle: im out getting stuff rn so i cant, sorry 

Foxthing: im down

PogChamp: is that even a question, OF COURSE ILL JOIN POGCHAMP

Tuba: cen I join?

Nihachu: working on some school stuff so I don’t think I have the time

Snipsnap: im tired im gonna head off to bed or something

Kettle: its 9 in the morning sapnap

Snipsnap: well not all of us can sleep on command dream, god

Phil: Hmmm can we do it now? Because I gotta get on for my Hardcore streams.

Crown™: I’m actually in a class rn so I cant, sorry!!   
  


RamSchlamm: yeah hold on let me get my cheerios

Jacobz: Helping Jimmy with something, but I’ll try?

Quackster: if i get the purple skin then its whatever.

Itsyaboi69: @Phil yeah we can do it now.

Okay gimme like a minute to set up stream and I’ll send you guys the room code

Nihachu: Have fun!!!

-

  
  


17:48 (BST)

PogChamp: GG EVERYONE

Phil: gg

Quackster: im still kinda mad about that last play how tf did you guys get away with it??   
  


Bayblade: using my vast knowledge of ancient chinese history I-

Tuba: I hav no idea

iike i think tommy litarally saw me and just didnt evan boter to say anything

Foxthing: nah that was me

It was good content so…

PokimaineV2: I’m never gonna play again with you guys , the amount of disrespect is actually baffling

PogChamp: sorry big g but content is content :)))

Itsyaboi69: guys I just wanna thank you again for helping me with the stream, I really appreciate it and yeah

RamSchlamm: love you too lover boy :3

Bayblade: get the furries out of the groupchat, god why is that so hard to understand??

Tuba: hey that is a preety poggers nume @PogChamp

PogChamp: yeah?

Tuba: can yuu chang wiiber’s name to luverboy??   
  


Itsyaboi69: tommy if you do this there is no going back, you know that right?   
  


PogChamp: ...but its really funny,,

Itsyaboi69: I have so much blackmail that’s just been wasting away in my computer, 

PogChamp: please?   
  


Itsyaboi69: I know the password to your phone 

Bayblade: DO IT, DONT BITCH OUT NOW TOMMY BOY

MuffinMan: pLEASE STOP!ಠ_ಥ   
  


Phil: It would be really funny

Itsyaboi69: PHIL? MY OWN FATHER, BETRAYING ME??

Phil: Peace was never an option

Tommy I’ll give you 5 pounds if you do it

PogChamp: will dont hate me

_PogChamp_ changed _Itsyaboi69’s_ username to _loverboi_

loverboi: you have brought only death upon your actions, 

PogChamp: brother, please forgive me

loverboi: say goodbye to your m and ms, tommy, because they’re going straight into my digestive systems.

PogChamp: but tubbo gave those to me :((

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, hope you enjoyed...  
> Kinda not feeling the vibe of this one, because it’s mostly unfunny and more realistic, because idk just wanted to remind y’all that they are still cc and they have to arrange things even if they are kinda boring..  
> The next chap is gonna be pretty good though, so if you wanna stick around you’re definitely invited to.
> 
> Also yeah just to make it clear I’m writing about their personas, I have ones planned where they show more of themselves selves as more mellow and calm, because we can’t always be that hyper can we?


	4. tea filled flower pot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go owt and abowt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all platonic so shippers please dni!!!

13:01 (BST)

Phil: Just to check up again, those of y’all that are meeting up with us are:  
Sleepy bois, Tubbo, George, Niki, Eret and Fundy. Correct?

Nihachu: yep!

Crown™: yeah  
  
Foxthing: correct mr Za

Tuba: that is coreact

PokimaineV2: at 2

loverboi: you already know

Bayblade: ^

PogChamp: YEAH

Phil: Okay, so because I’m technically the oldest I kinda have the most responsibility out of all of you lot, and to kind of summarize what you gotta remember:

  
\- we should probably only move in groups of like 3 ish? So like idk sort amongst yourselves before we meet up  
\- Tubbo and Tommy have to be with either me or techno because I don’t trust you guys at all  
-wear masks!!! We need to be safe because there is still a pandemic going on right now.  
\- we’ll meet by a cafe downtown, it’s called “rosemary” or something, you’ll probably figure out where it is because of how green the whole place is.

And yeah, I know that I’m not your dad or anything but just keep this in mind. The pandemic is still a danger and we can be fun, but be safe as well.

Kettle: in light of us not being able to meet up I’m gonna host a hypixel minigames group, so if you wanna play just get on the discord and we’ll start at 10ish?

Jacobz: will do boss

Quackster: meet you there 

MuffinMan: ooh fun!! Sounds great ｡◕‿◕｡

RamSchlamm: I think I’m gonna sit this one out guys, feeling like no games today

Kettle: understandable, have fun schlatt.

RamSchlamm: you too dream

Kettle: sap?  
Sap  
Sap  
Sap  
Sap  
Sap  
Sap  
Sap

Snipsnap: what

Kettle:^^

Snipsnap: im down, just lemme sleep for like a little longer

PokimaineV2: sleepyhead

Snipsnap: shut up

MuffinMan: (；一_一)

-

  
13:05 (BST)

  
 _PogChamp_ has created a groupchat with _Tuba_ , _Bayblade_ named _VERY COOL OUTING_

PogChamp: Fellas, welcome.

Bayblade: not expected, but also not welcomed

Tuba: so wil yuu join us technublade?

Bayblade: of course I will phil gave me like 10 pounds to babysit you guys

PogChamp: well not babysit I invited you so ya know

Bayblade: yeah yeah keep telling yourself that kid

-

  
13:07 (BST)

  
 _Phil_ has created a groupchat with _Nihachu_ , _Crown™_ named _the calmest bunch_

Phil: Hi guys, hope you’re not too angry by this grouping

Nihachu: Not at all!! I was actually expecting this to be honest

Crown™: this will be so calm, I honestly just wanted something really lowkey for today, thanks Phil

Phil: No problem, felt like the three of us would be much more pleasant then being with Tommy or Wilbur, and also I just wanted to spend some time to chat with you guys.

-

  
13:11 (BST)

  
 _loverboi_ has created a groupchat with _PokimaineV2_ , _Foxthing_ named _f i n d_

loverboi: f i n d

PokimaineV2: what

loverboi: f i n d

Foxthing: wil are you alright buddy

Loverboi: im on a quest to find several things and you guys are coming along for the ride

PokimaineV2: do I have a choice

Foxthing: ya think?

-

The cafe was quiet for a saturday afternoon. It’s wooden planked signboard had made the store look rather out of place amongst the rows of classy, upper class shophouses. They had pulled up in their pink minivan with music blasting through crappy sound systems. Tommy had stepped out first, practically tumbling onto the pavement below.

“What the fuck wilbur!” the boy huffed, dusting his palms off as said brunette laughed, hopping gracefully out of the car. “Not my fault that your ass was glued to the carseat,” the weather was autumnal, amber coloured leaves scattered across the street that seemed too random to be a mistake. Now the past few days had been admittedly chilly, and today was no different. Tommy was wrapped in the thickest wooly sweater that he could have found, but he still found himself rubbing shaky hands back and forth, to circulate any sort of heat that he could. Rosemary, what an interesting name for a cafe.

“God this place must be hella expensive, Phil why did you bring us here?” Techno asks, completely caught off guard by the people in burgundy coats and designer bags that moved in and out of the roadside store. Phil kind of just shrugged, “Dunno, thought it looked pretty interesting and didn’t really bother looking at the actual pricing.”

The smell of freshly baked bread hit Tommy like a brick. He tasted the thyme and herbs that was probably used in their coffee, or something. “Tommy look!” The shortest exclaims, looking at said boy with wide, energetic eyes. The thing that Tubbo had been referring to was, if Tommy had to guess, a cup of some sorts. It was shaped in a flower pot, with a cap that was supposed to be a flower and bees around it. 

“Isn’t that the cutest thing?” and Tommy feels himself grin. Tubbo was always particular in whatever interest him, so he wasn’t really surprised that this was the first thing that he took note of. “Whatever floats your boat tubs.”

  
They had found the others by a table in the corner of the restaurant, chatting previously about work, or whatever, Tommy wasn’t paying attention. Although they did sell rather pricy food (what the fuck! Who prices a sandwich at 18 pounds? jesus christ on a stick), He had to admit that they were made at a standard. Honey toasted sourdough bread, dripping in marinated meats, stuffed with the freshest veggies that he’d eaten in a while, it would have been a lie if he said that he wasn’t impressed. He also took some of Wilbur’s coffee, although the older had seemed quite pissed, and saying something about how it was “like 7 pounds” and how “I’m not made of money, you know.”

It had been another half hour when the groups had split off, waving their goodbyes and setting off on their own journeys. 

-

The VERY COOL OUTING:  
Tubbo and Tommy had planned all that they were going to do over voice call the day before, and kind of left Techno in the dust. They were gonna spend like some time in the nearby arcade because Tubbo needed to assert his dominance in DDR, then drop by this cool library for no particular reason whatsoever. (Tommy overheard Techno talking about this new hardcover edition of the art of war, and they also had some other books that techno might have liked), and then finally over to a garden/ park to catch their newest installment of flowers and insects.

Techno looked down at his phone. 2:55, it read in white text that was masked by burning neon lights. The arcade was surprisingly full for a pandemic, so Techno made sure that the boys kept their masks on at all times. They went to the DDR machine, where he watched the younglings jump around like little monkeys. They look so dumb right now, Techno thought to himself as Tommy lets out a shout, slamming his palm against the railing when he probably lost to Tubbo. The trio went and played the other games, trying their best to get as many tokens as they could (and breaking a machine in the process but whatever), finally winning enough to get a plastic crown, that Tommy claimed and wore for the rest of the day (hey look techno, It’s me, but you! God I’m funny)

The bookstore had came as a surprise to the eldest, because he had never once ever imagined the word Tommy and books in the same sentence, much less in the same area. It was classic and retro, smelling like used parchment and made Techno feel at ease. Most of the books were kept in perfect condition, leatherbacks polished and new, fineprint bold and colourised to perfection. Tommy and Tubbo had gone off to somewhere else, so Techno decided to browse through at his own accord. The adult fiction was always his go to section, partially because he’d read most of the books that were on display. His eyes scanned through titles upon titles before he rested upon one in particular. The Art Of War, wrapped in faux cow leather, stamped by silver foil and standing in all its glory. Techno felt his jaw metaphorically drop to the ground, because he was there, watching it in all it’s 260 paged glory. 

It felt dumb thinking that he couldn’t touch it, because it was an inanimate object and Technoblade was Technoblade. But he didn’t want to accidentally alter its appearance because it means that much to him. He was startled out of his thoughts when a pair of hands push against his back, swiveling his head to meet a giggling Tommy and an apologetic looking Tubbo behind him. 

“Blade, guess what?” Tommy asks as Techno raises his eyebrows. He watches as Tommy fumbles with a plastic bag, slowly pulling up what appeared to be…

“No, tell me you didn’t” 

“Oh but I did Techno- Ouch! Jesus. Sorry we did.” Tommy replied, watching as the pinkett's mouth twitched a little, before a pair of red and blue eyes made its way to meet their own.

“I-I… I don’t know what to say?” Because he really didn’t. Techno was at a loss for words. That’s when everything kind of clicked into place. The whole reason why they came here in the first place, was for him. 

“Just take it Techno, we wanted to get you a gift because we thought that you might have liked it.” The brunette replied, giving techno a warm smile. Techno felt his cheeks turn warm, because why were these stupid kids actually making him feel happy? Eh whatever, Techno shrugs, accepting the book before turning around, letting out a small grin on the way out. 

The Garden was closed, because one of the trees had accidentally broken a hole into the glass pavilion. They had nothing left to do, with an hour and a half left to mess around. 

“Hey how about we go to like the marketplace or something?” Tubbo suggested, getting a few “why nots” and “sures” in response. The christmas lights were up, and Techno had complained the whole time about it because “they skipped the entirety of Halloween. Like come on, it’s so obviously the better holiday.” Nothing much of importance came up, other than the three of them walking out of a candy store with some chocolate chips (like potato chips but chocolate not the actual chocolate chips), a box of Nerds candy canes and a handful of chocolate mint caramels that they hid under Tommy’s jacket and totally did not steal. (they definitely did not because they would never do anything of that matter.) 

“Gomf thaf whas- mmh” Tubbo tried to get out as he chewed on the caramels that got stuck in between his teeth. Tommy let out a laugh, before choking on a grape flavoured candy cane that he had been sucking on. Techno kind of stood there and just watched both argue, contempt with eating his own chips in peace. The walk back to the restaurant was pretty much just lighthearted chatter, the energy dying down as all three was slowly being drained of their social energy. 

“That was a lot of fun,” Tommy perks up as the other two nodded in agreement. Now they just had to wait for the others to get here as well.

-

The Calmest Bunch:  
Phil had not really planned out what they were going to do today. He kinda wanted to let the day lead them on whatever they wanted to do. So when Niki had asked to stop by a cute little shop down the street, He couldn’t really see why not.

The shop had turned out to house yarn and other sewing materials. It smelled like clean sheets and hints of lemon that made Phil feel strangely at home. The owner was a elderly couple, and they had a few cats in the shop itself. 

“Their names are maddox and ruby, if you wanted to know.” Vivian told them as the pair looked up at the new visitors, white silky fur glowing under a warm yellow light. Phil and Eret had stepped to the side, letting Niki converse with the couple about current projects and such. They played with the two animals, chatting about whatever had been going on in their lives, (Eret with school, Phil with his hardcore series and his three children that he warmly refers to as gremlins).

Niki had ended up with 3 balls of chunky yarn (all in different shades of cream) and Eret had bought her a specially crafted pair of knitting needles, saying something about how “it was a gift” and “she deserved it.”

It hadn’t even been a minute of walking when they had come across a rather interesting bookstore. Not only did they sell limited edition pieces of literature, they also sold rare art materials that were made in the store itself. Phil had always been interested in the art of watercolour and calligraphy, doing it whenever he got the chance to in a way to destress from anything that he had been going through. So when he stumbled upon a certain collection of watercolour paints he knew that he was going to get it one way or another.

It had been titled “When the forest meets the sea” and there had been a total of 20 different coloured pans. The greens had what caught his attention, each a completely unique shade to all the ones he had seen before. It had been accompanied by a pearlescent copper, which glowed under the dim natural light. The blues were also gorgeous, with the outstanding one having to be the ultramarine, made by real lapis lazulis rather than the synthetic pigment. 

Call Phil a nerd if you wanted to, but he practically lost his shit in that store. He checked that price tag, and it definitely was going to hurt but he sucked the pain up, he could probably get that back after an hour of streaming, or something. While he was there, he had also picked up some books for their collection, mainly “of mice and men”, “Demian” and “the handmaids tale”.

By this point in time, they had still a half hour to fuck around, so they settled on watching the sunset by the brighton peer. It was… bittersweet, because Phil had never really got the opportunity to hang out with the lot outside of streaming and event, so as they watched orange coloured skies, the three of them sat and talked about what happened today, and how they felt about the meet up as a whole. 

It was another forty five minutes before they reached the cafe, and they spotted the group of boys who had gotten themselves each a cup of something, Phil wasn’t too sure. All they had to do now was wait for the last three to get here, which he assumed was going to take a while.

-

The f i n d:  
Well, it was obvious that Wilbur’s intention was to find something, that much was clear. What he was trying to find though was the real question. If Wilbur had to be honest, this entire thing was just made up. He wanted to find a way to show the other two around Brighton, and you know, run some dumb errands along the way.

They first went over to this really cool warehouse place that had possibly the largest vinyl collection that Wilbur had ever seen in his life. He also knew that Fundy had been trying to find this specific edition of some anime soundtrack (which he had forgotten the name of). And put two and two together, It would have been impossible for them to not be able to find it. 

The search turns out harder than anticipated. The warehouse appeared much bigger than Wilbur remembered it being (well I mean he did come here like 2 years ago, so things would have obviously changed). It was like a maze, shelves full of every type of soundtrack, ambient drones, metal bands you get the gist. Wilbur himself had taken a few minutes to finally get to the “indie folk section”, where he grabbed a few dics that he’d been eyeing for a while. George had picked up a copy of the minecraft soundtrack (alpha, he already had beta) and some random comedy that Dream had recommended, or something (dream said something about brain dead and bad cgi, and I was like whatever kills time). 

It would have been an understatement to say that Fundy had been ecstatic when he came across that specific DVD. The man practically jumped so hard that the other customers just stood there and watched him freak out. (DUDE OH MY GOD I-IVE-IM SPEECHLESS)

The total amount of time that they spent in that store was too disappointing to say out loud (imagine the disappointment in Phil’s face when he realises just how bad they were at following instructions).

Their next stop was at some really pricey upstate hypebeast store that Wilbur has never stepped foot into. He was never really one for this style of clothing, but he also knew that George was really into this scene. 

Wilbur knew that he was stepping into a store, not a lightbox. Holy shit, the entire room blinded his eyes immediately after poking through the front door. Fundy also had the same reaction, hissing at the saturated neon lights that beamed from corner to ceiling. George however showed no reaction, walking as though the lights had not been there in the first place (“god what is he, a fucking robot or something?” Fundy asked, slightly concerned). The clothes were all either boldly coloured, or monochromatic. There was no in between and that kind of intimidated Wilbur more than he cared to admit. Let me tell you something, when George has a mission, the mans scarier than that clown from that one movie. He darts from one shelf to the other at lightning speed, asking questions to the salesperson that Wilbur knows not one word spoken, and It’s no surprise that George walks out of that store carrying a large plastic bag in his hands. (ah it's fine I’ll just start smiling on stream and this will all be paid of in like 30 minutes or something). Fundy and Wilbur were in a daze for most of it, though both had impulsively bought a pair of those golf shoes because they looked cool or whatever. 

By the time they had finished their splurging, Wilbur noticed and panicky alerted the others that they were at the moment five minutes late. So they sprinted, ran through the somewhat crowded streets of Brighton before reaching the same, familiar cafe, panting as they took a breather while the others sat there laughing their asses off.

-

“I’m gonna miss you guys!” Niki says as she wraps her arms around Tommy, bringing him into an embrace before letting him go. They had waved off to the others, watching as they went their separate ways before slowly piling up into the car. He felt himself let out a sigh as the warmth of the car’s heater brought some colour back to his cheeks, relaxing sleepily into Tubbo’s shoulder as the other played with his hair. 

Tommy was awoken with a smack to the head, jolting up with the sound of Wilbur’s obnoxious laughter. “Tommy I gotta go now,” The shorter exclaims, voice laced with some sort of sadness. Tommy feels himself frown, before shaking it off with a scoff. “Yeah yeah whatever, see you later Big T”

Tubbo laughs, and tommy catches himself shiver when tubbo’s warmth leaves his side. The other three are saying their goodbyes, and tommy’s given little to no time to process what has happened before Tubbo’s almost at his doorstep. 

“Shit shit shit shit-” Tommy mutters to himself, popping open the car door and runs over to the brunette, which seemed more confused that anything. 

“What are you doing Toms?” and the blonde pulls out something from one of his excessively large pockets. He plops it onto the others hand and watches the biggest grin form across his face. 

“No way! You didn- oh my god Tommy!” Tubbo cheers, pulling out the same cup that he had been admiring at the beginning of the day. “How’d you even get it without me noticing.”

  
“I’ve got my ways, they call me stealth master for a reason ya know?” the blond scoffs, pushing his hands into his pockets. He is surprised when Tubbo pulls him into a hug, but melts into it non the less. “You’re the best friend ever Tommy!” and he swears that he feels himself blush under a starry autumn night. 

When they reach home and settle back into their own rooms, Tommy flops onto bed, thinking about what happened today before he feels his phone buzz. Oh, Tubbo posted something he thinks to himself, pulling open twitter before he feels his eyes widen. 

**@TubboLive:**  
Cute little bee cup thanks **@tommyinnit**  
*insert photo of some chamomile tea in the cup that Tommy had gifted to the other*

And it maybe kind of dumb, but Tommy feels himself let out a lopsided grin, closing his eyes as he slowly drifts to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii, long time no see ahaha.  
> sorry I just want to say a few things to anybody that has reached this far into the chapter.  
> 1) hopefully this makes up for the lack of uploads. I'm actually having my igcses right now so umm... yeah was busy doing that  
> 2) was also spending more time working on my other story, because I'm actually almost done with it, so pog ig  
> 3) not used to writing so much fluff, so had to get used to that  
> and yeah that's it.  
> Thank you all so much for supporting this series. It means a lot to me even if you don't interact at all. take care and be safe :)
> 
> Also I made a playlist for The sleepy bois car ride, here you go:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0A8UKbwQNWhBXGlp4p4bvJ?si=WUP81Zi5RpWk-PoFzoNUqg


	5. Philza Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sapnap makes pancakes and then gets very dissapointed

08:49 (BST)

  
Jacobz: guys it just hit me that I’ve gotten nail polish but not the remover.

and so now im just stuck here with black nails for the next like month or something

loverboi: whats the big issue? im confused rn

Jacobz: nah nothing its just that like im so scared that this would get into my food when im eating or smth

Crown™: nah youre fine, just put some topcoat and it will never come off again

trust me ive done it before

Jacobz: alright then, imma take youre word on this one

Anyways what have yall been up to

Bayblade: oh you dont wanna know

Phil: Techno’s been watching floof chase a lazer for the past 5 minutes.

Bayblade: gimme a break i just woke up like an hour before this

loverboi: I can attest to this, because i did wake him up exactly 55 mins ago

I soaked a towel in ice cold water and slapped him with it. Was pretty funny ngl

Jacobz: wil you honestly just sound like such an ass right now

Bayblade: and there was no reason for him to do that! He just did it “for fun”

  
loverboi: hey you promised to go on a walk with me today

Bayblade: yeah, in the afternoon you dingus

loverboi: sucks to suck ig

Phil: It’s like Tommy never went to bed

loverboi: dad im respectfully telling you to bug off

Phil: Yeah say that one more time and you’ll find a bug on your bed

That’s not a joke I am being completely serious.

loverboi: but…

Phil: No

loverboi: ok

Snipsnap: sometimes I just forget that we live in different places and it’s now 1am here

PokimaineV2: thats a you problem , so it doesn’t really concern me idk why you're telling us this

Snipsnap: oh phiss ohff gheorge

PokimaineV2: wow you couldn’t think of any better comeback so you just tried to insult the way I speak . wowwww

loverboi: god its because of people like you that i try to block out any part of america that i can

/j

Snipsnap: that was so unfunny wilbur

loverboi: what do u think i look like a comedian?? get off ur high horse 

Snipsnap: nah but u look funny

Jacobz: ohhh get roasted!!!!

loverboi: karl thats lame and you are therefore lame

PogChamp: AGREED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phil: Tommy you’re awake?

  
PogChamp: when have I never been

Phil: Then come and eat your pancakes, they’re getting cold dude.

PogChamp: but my bed is so nice and warm and i just found the best position to watch youtube videos in

Tuba: me too!! Hi five

PogChamp: nah

Tuba: :(

Snipsnap: man i want pancakes

Tuba: then go maeke sume and then yu could show us yur cooking skill

Snipsnap: tubs as much as i would love to do that it is actually 1 in the morning. 

PogChamp: so...do it pussy

Kettle: yeah snapmap, do it you bitch

Bayblade: peer pressure unite

Phil: Would feel bad for your parents but I really wanna see how those turn out

Snipsnap: ahh fine, but if you dont see me the next day its probably cos my parents disconnected the wifi

Kettle: while were waiting whats your favourite colour

PokimaineV2: really ?

Kettle: well, yeah

loverboi: red because it looks like blood and im supposed to be crazy or whatever

Tuba: bee colour

Phil: Moroccan green :)

Bayblade: blood for the blood god

Jacobz: purple like the grapes

PogChamp: i mean… red is my brand

Kettle: well mine is green so

loverboi: yeah no shit sherlock

Also Tommy if u dont come down now youre not gonna gave any breakfast so 

PogChamp: gimme a sex big W

*SEC SEC NOT SEX

Tuba: why did yuu repeet the seme thing but twice

Phil: Look away Tubbo, look away.

-

09:13 (BST)

  
Snipsnap: [insert video]  
*”okay so… It turned out okay ish?” Sapnap mumbles, pointing towards a stack of pancakes that shone under one singular lamp. It was, by the looks of it chocolate chip and was covered in maple syrup and topped off with whipped cream and blueberries. He zooms in closer to the maple syrup, before he sticks his finger in a peak of whipped cream, bringing it to what you can guess is his mouth and letting out a pleased hmm *its like 2am so everything is really dark, but I think that it looks pretty good, anyways.*

Phil: Those actually look pretty dope.

How’d it taste?

  
Snipsnap: pretty bomb. Its fresh so the chocolate is still kinda gooey and warm and I kinda popped off with the batter

PogChamp: didya do any of those cool pancake flips????? Phil did it just now and it was pretty pog.

loverboi: Phil, aka dad and professional pancake maker

Snipsnap: I’ve tried it once, but when i did it I flipped too hard and the pancake got stuck to the ceiling

Im not even joking my mom got so pissed

Phil: L,

Snipsnap: what kind did you make

Phil: Today was just normal buttermilk pancakes, but then I made this really sick fresh honey syrup/ whipped cream from a mix of cinnamon, a little condensed milk, fresh honeycomb and I put some

mint leaves on top to make it look cool

Bayblade: it was very pog

I took a photo of it actually,

[insert photo]  
*it was very fluffy, in a stack of 3 mug sized pancakes. The colour of the whipped cream was a slight yellow and the sauce was a cool green. A sleepy tommy is looking straight into the camera while Wilbur, slightly more energetic is holding his hands in a thumbs up*

Snipsnap: aww man now i feel like shit

Phil: Sap ya gotta remember that I’ve been doing this ever since I’ve taken in Wilbur. It took me a solid year to not burn a pancake.

Kettle: Phil when quarantine is over can we come over and eat your pancakes

Phil: Why not :)

loverboi: yeah philza pancake pog

PogChamp: they are very delicious

Tuba: ive euten them be4, and i can tell you that this is actually correct.

Snipsnap: man you gotta teach me those tricks eventually 

Phil: When you come over I will, promise.

-

16:26 (BST)

  
MuffinMan: language!!! (0_0)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there hello  
> this is definitely a step down from the previous one, but I hope you still enjoy it :)))  
> also i love pancakes, but waffles with some good friend chicken can win me over any day


	6. This is why you should not have access to the internet when you’re drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepy gogy and his dumb brain do a dumb thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no words for this, other than a slight gore warning. It’s not that explicit but you know, still keep that in mind

08:43 (BST)

  
  


PokimaineV2: let’s say that someone , maybe not me , were to have you know like bought 20 glass pitchers from ikea when they were drunk . What do you suggest one might do ?

Phil: What the fuck

PokimaineV2: and what if said person decided to smash one on the ground for fun and accidentally cut themselves on their right arm

Jacobz: jesus gog why would u do that

loverboi: Karl he never said that it was him give the man a break

MuffinMan: Phil!! (0_o) but George how long has it been bleeding for

PokimaineV2: to the point that I feel lightheaded

Phil: Go get the first aid kit you absolute moron

PokimaineV2: eh , I don’t wanna tho

Haha there’s like blood on my floor wanna see ?

PogChamp: no

PokimaineV2: too bad

[insert photo]

*theres a literal pool of blood, and you see george’s right arm stuck up in a thumb. There is, as expected a large glass shard in his forearm and you wonder how George isn’t unconscious*

Tuba: MY EYS GEORGE

IVE BEAN SCARS

Phil: Call your mom or something

PokimaineV2: she’s out at the shops . I’m all alone

Jacobz: gogy how are you gonna play mcc man? Letting the team down smh

loverboi: Karl your not funny

Phil: Okay, can you at least try to walk to your bathroom and find any tweezers and rubbing alcohol?

PokimaineV2: ok give me a sec

PogChamp: please gog keep it pg there’s minors in the group chat

also techno can you please give me the kettles i bought those a while ago

Bayblade: should have think twice when you bought honey dijon

PokimaineV2: Philza minecraft there is a problem I can’t tell which one is rubbing alcohol

Phil: I’m going to FaceTime you so pick up okay?

loverboi: let me get into this

  
  


-

  
  


_ Phil  _ has started a video call

_ PokimaineV2  _ has entered the video call

_ loverboi  _ has entered the video call

  
  
  


-

  
  


Phil: george you absolute clutz why have you done this at nine in the fucking morning

George: mhm felt like it

Wilbur: so you just felt like getting a shard of glass stuck in your forearm?

George: oh I’m sorry Mr “I’m smart and funny” soot, maybe I just don’t think about the consequences of my actions

Wilbur: okay pop off i guess

Phil: wil shush this is not haha funny time

George show me your… um things

George:... okay can you see it now?

Wilbur: why is your bathroom tiles green? You can’t even see the colour

George: how ‘m I suppos’d to know wil-lbur 

Phil: can you hold the second bottle up please?

George: from the left or the right?

Phil: left

George: *splash* oh fuck- I mean honk

Wilbur: you can swear you know, we’re not streaming right now

George: habit

Okay can you see it? My hand kind of hurts holding it though

Phil: put the bottle down and put the phone in front of it. Stop moving your hand so much it’s gonna make more blood pump out

… okay it’s the fourth from the left. 

George: thank 

Phil: do you know howda do the rest?

George:... what if I told you no

Phil: ah fine, Wil you might wanna log off now, there’s gonna be some blood

Wil: pops I think I’ve seen worse

Phil: alright suit yourself buddy. George can you show me your arm?

George: here

Phil: yeowch… that’s gotta hurt. Can you try clenching and unclenching your fist for me?

George: hssssss, ow

Phil: okay it looks like it hasn’t gone that deep into your forearm. You sure you're ready dude?

George: okay… I’m ready

Phil: on my count, slowly- and I mean slowly pull the glass shard in a straight line. We don’t wanna touch any important things. 

George: okay okay… ah! I’m- just go go 

Phil: one

Two

Three

George: aAh- fffh fuck!

Phil: why is it so long? Jesus Christ

George: hhuh- hhuhh- i-it’s all out now what do I do?

Phil: you’re gonna need to get stitches at the ER or something, but for now take the alcohol and some cotton buds and gently dab against the wound

Wilbur: haha glug glug splash

George: why does this hurt- ouch! Hurt so much?

Wilbur: it’s probably 50% ethanol so you’re gonna feel some kind of pain you dingus

Phil: it looks clean enough, get some kind of cloth and some more cotton buds and tie it up tight, but not enough to really hurt. This is probably the best we can do before your mom gets back

George: okay, thanks dadza

Phil: no problem kiddo, just lie down and relax until she gets back, okay?

George: yhhup, can do

Phil: take care, and if anything happens just text me. I’m always here.

George: mhm… gonna sleep I’m tired

Phil: bye

Wilbur: adios amigo

George: bye bye

  
  


-

  
  


_ Phil  _ has ended the call

  
  


-

  
  


Tuba: and thats whi I cent use the blender enymor

Jacobz: why did you even have a pencil that big in the first place

Bayblade: somethings don’t add up tubbo

PogChamp: let tubbo be tubbo

loverboi: tubbo

Tuba: tubbo

Phil: Tubbo

Bayblade: tubbo

Jacobz: tubbo

MuffinMan: :3 tubbo

Foxthing: what have I just woken up to

Phi: Tdlr: George cut his arm, I helped him clean it up and now we’re talking about tubbo

Tuba: true

PogChamp: what a time to be alive

loverboi:  [ https://open.spotify.com/track/4UDmDIqJIbrW0hMBQMFOsM?si=2RveXNs0TR6x7sCpeYanCA ](https://open.spotify.com/track/4UDmDIqJIbrW0hMBQMFOsM?si=2RveXNs0TR6x7sCpeYanCA)

Bayblade: what have you just sent bro

Jacobz: STAYIN ALIVE STAYIN ALIVE

Tuba: AH AH AH AH

loverboi: stayin alIVEEEEEEE

PokimaineV2: SHUT UP IM TRYING TO SLEEP

PogChamp: sleepy gogy living up to his name

PokimaineV2: One day I’m going to spam your phone and then you’re going to feel my pain

PogChamp: yeah yeah whatever Georgenotfound.

  
  



	7. Fuckin cat ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's no way i can say anything without destroying the surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a doofer doodles animation of quackity as a cat maid and I cant stop watching it  
> (yes, the art it mine. dont steal shit)

  
23:20 (BST)

  
Quackster: I regret ever opening a P.O. Box

Tuba: ??

Phil: What happened? Did they send you some weird toy or something

Quackster: nonono wait actually you could say that, Idk this is some real fetish shit

Kettle: pft, what could it actually be, a maid dress?

Quackster:...  
Well I mean, it’s not a no

PogChamp: whatthefuckwhatthefuxlwhatthefuck  
leave this outta here MINORS MINORS AH

Quackster: bruh it looks like a fucking ballgown it has the frills and everything

Crown™: I have two of those and it’s actually pretty cute ngl

Quackster: oh my god the frilly part has duck embroidery why is there so much effort put into this

Nihachu: Cute !!!!!

Jacobz: yeah, what Niki said ;)))

Snipsnap: hey quackity

Quackity: what

Snipsnap: ill pay you like 50$ to send me a pic of u wearing that 

loverboi: tf

Snipsnap: lemme get a taste of that fuckin thighs bro >:))))))

Jacobz: lmao use ur dms dude this is tmi

Bayblade: tier three simps right here

Quackity: wait are u frfr

Snipsnap: u know it baybee :)))))

Quackster: send me ur money first

Kettle: u can’t be serious right

Snipsnap: check ur paypal 

Phil: Bruh

loverboi: damn shawty’s got a cash grab

Tuba: god forgave me for I hav witnesed a sin.

PogChamp: shield ur eyes tubbo, shield them  
(But for real is this a bit?)

Quackster: (yeah it is, he didn’t send me anything)

Snipsnap: (can confirm)

PogChamp: (ok thanks for clarifying)

Jacobz: eyo sap

Snipsnap: what is it other lover

Jacobz: send me some of that pics too 

Snipsnap: alright mama

loverboi: HE SAID THE THING!! HE SAID THE HAHA FUNNY EVRUONE LAUGH

Kettle: ha

loverboi: cmon drem WITH PASSION

Kettle: Ha

loverboi: good enough

Crown™: quackity try it on man!!!

Quackster: really???

Nihachu: yeah!!! It’s just for fun right??

Quackster: I can’t help but feel like I can make a larger profit off of this

PogChamp: …

Tuba:...

Bayblade: ehm, dream that’s your line

Kettle: hey hey money for dress, money for dress??

Quackster: there we go. How much we talkin

Kettle: like 20$ 

Quackster: that’s good enough for me bb  
I’ll be back in a second.

Nihachu: wait I didn’t expect him to do it omg

Crown™: me either

Bayblade: ah, the wonderful effects of peer pressure

MuffinMan: I’m gonna get you all timed out sooner or later

loverboi: whoah no emojis he’s actually serious

MuffinMan: don’t talk to me >:(

loverboi: aaaaand he’s back

Quackster: I looked further down the package and i realised that it came with multiple items  
They’re really trying to force this whole cat boy thing on me huh

Kettle: WHAT, OKAY NOW I HAVE TO SEE THIS

Tuba: calm don dre we know that yuu hav e a thinf for furrys but come on be more discreete.

Kettle: *middle finger*

Quackster: THE FUCKIN TALE AHAHHAHJA

loverboi: STOP TEASING AND JUST SHOW US THE GODDAMN OUTFIT

Quackster: okok jeez just gimme a break will you

loverboi: pun intended

PogChamp: No

Quackster: [insert a video and a photo]  
*the photo is of him in said maid dress, although with his normal clothes on. You can tell that it’s purple, but the crappy lighting in the toilet makes it look more blue than anything. He’s doing the stupid Facebook mom pose and has the cat ears on over his beanie. It’s practically sliding off. The video is of him doing a duck face in the mirror, before aiming the camera at him and zooming in while saying “what’s up brother, wanna feed this kitty” in the worst Texan accent you’ve heard*

Nihachu: AWWWW

Crown™: cuteee

MuffinMan: :3

PogChamp: I don’t get the weebs

Bayblade: you live with two

PogChamp: no I don’t

Bayblade: … give yourself a second to think about it 

PogChamp: actually I do

Quackster: pay up b

Kettle: if u stream rn Ill pay u double 

Quackity: BET

Kettle: do it then, pussy

loverboi: … pun inten-

Snipsnap: shut up the girls are doing something and I’m trying to watch

Quackity: EY BOYS (and Niki) DO YALL WANNA GET ON MY STRAM WITH ME??

Jacobz: HELL YEAH

Snipsnap: only if you show me some more of those cat ears if ya know what I’m sayin ;))

loverboi: I’ve just chugged a monster so LETS DO THIS

PogChamp: college is sadly tomorrow

Tuba: ^^^^^

Phil: Hardcore!!

Bayblade: …

Kettle: better deal, if u stream with The Maid dress I’ll give you 100 tier 2 subs

Phil: You are absolutely crazy dream

Quackster: hmmm, make it 150 and you got a deal

PogChamp: holy shit really??

Kettle: START IT NOW

Quackster: OKAY OKAY JUST LEMME SET SHIT UP

Bayblade: this is gonna be fun

quackity in a maid outfit

(if u cant see it on ao3 check out my ig @skinninlemons, for reference and stuff)


	8. Asian food>>>>>>>>>

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I project my cravings onto the gang

11:00 (BST) 

Tuba: do u ever wander why rasins prone in the son but fingars dont 

PogChamp: tubbo dont u have a class rn

Tuba: :|

Phil: It’s always the weird questions that come from Tubbo or Wilbur.

Tuba: Ph1lza minecraft please let me ask my quechtion

RamSchlamm: isn’t it osmosis or something like that

Bayblade: well actually, it’s to let us adapt to the water and make it easier for us to grip onto things.

Phil: Techno why do u know this

Bayblade: my ADHD lets me do wonders phil, wonders

loverboi: hey speaking of raisins does anyone else here like raisin bread

Quackster: why raisin bread though

loverboi: it’s bread but with more

~pizzazz~

PogChamp: white bread is the superior in many different aspects of life

loverboi: name three

PogChamp: versatility, it asserts dominanace, raisins are for pussys

Tuba: man my mom makes me rasin bred with cinimon and suger in the morning

loverboi: yes!!!! ^^^^^

Phil: It’s alright I guess

Kettle: i read somewhere that some brands of bread have like cockroaches inside and its mostly the raisin ones…

Snipsnap: haha cock eater

loverboi: god sapnap it’s like u can’t get enough cock in ur life can u

Snipsnap: mmh yum ;))) delish

PokimaineV2: shut up Im trying to eat my borger .

Quackster: HAHA borger 

PogChamp: will u never let me live it down

PokimaineV2: then talk about anything other than cockroaches when I’m trying to eat , dumbass .

Snipsnap: you’re no fun

PokimaineV2: nobody asked me to be , but hey , at least I’m still funnier than you even when you try .

Quackster: THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING

Tuba: spicy

Phil: Boys, I’m done with the rice cakes come down now.

loverboi: AWHH BABY

PogChamp: POG

Bayblade: meh

Kettle: whats rice cake

loverboi: it’s this Korean thing where they have these squishy sticks and put it in spicy korean sauce it’s really good

Tuba: the first time I had it wus over at ther hause

Bayblade: i don’t mind it it’s just the amount of cheese tommy puts that gets me

PogChamp: I like it when the mozarelq stretches

Phil: I found a recipe a while back, cooked it once and they can’t seem to stop eating it.

loverboi: nomnom

Quackster: is the squishy thing kinda like boba balls or smth

Phil: Its’s not sweet, but yeah kinda.

Snipsnap: now I want boba :(((

Kettle: order it then dumbass

Snipsnap: the chatime is closed cos it’s too early in the morning :(((((((((((

PogChamp: ive never had boba before

Kettle: thai tea is my go to

Phil: Not a bad choice

Quackster: the only time ive ever drank boba was by the street and they put those black pearls in monster

Phil: Wtf

Cursed

loverboi: that’s dream fuel right there

Quackster: n the best part is that they even put whipped cream so the monster became murky after awhile.

loverboi: that’s my go to wtf 

Yo hook me up with your guy 

Kettle: wil u good man

loverboi: fuck off dream I don’t tell you off about your dietary choices

Bayblade: idk if anyone still cares but jasmine tea with golden pearls??

Snipsnap: taro ftw 

Tuba: @Bayblade ^^^^^^^^^

loverboi: I order cookies n cream with double smal pearls at 150% sugar level, call it “crash and burn”

Snipsnap: how do you stomach that Jesus christ 

loverboi: did the name “crash and burn” not mean anything to you

Snipsnap: ohhhhh

PogChamp: do u ever eat something so spicy that you feel like ur mouth is on fire

Quackity: Im immune to pain

Bayblade: took the words right out of my mouth

loverboi: tommys not doing well rn

[insert video]

*“PHIL WHY DID YOU PUT THE SPICIER SAUCE?” And you see Tommy chugging down a carton of milk. “Not my fault you have weak tastebuds”. The camera is out of focus and you hear Wilbur chuckle in the background*

Quackster: weak

PogChamp: shut up

Snipsnap: u know what Imma make some ramen

Kettle: do that then, u know that u don’t have to tell us everything that ur gonna do

Snipsnap: owch okay den, let me down gently goddamn.

PokimaineV2: no

Snipsnap: yes

loverboi: maybe

Quackster: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if u guys had the boba Brands that I have so I just used chatime because apparently the US has it (and I’m assuming that it is there).
> 
> (Even though it’s not good but whatever, I’ll be over here in my corner drinking LiHo and HeyTea)


	9. Yes it is the man who did the chica dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where to begin  
> I’ve been putting all of my time into producing actual pieces of work that mean a lot more to me than this baby right here (don’t get me wrong, writing this is like writing crack, I love it)
> 
> So expect less frequent uploads, maybe shorter idrk. And if you want to, check out my other stuff (mostly angst so, be warned)
> 
> That’s it, hope u enjoy :)

04:55 (BST)

Kettle: @PogChamp can u add the person I dm’d u please and thank u

Oh wait its like 5am for u guys forgot

Snipsnap: Dream stop spamming team speak were in the same fucking house. Get ur own fork for gods sake.

Kettle: fuck u

Snipsnap: my pleasure ;))

PokimaineV2: you’ve forgotten that your messages go through sleep mode . please let me sleep I gotta do something important tomorrow.

Kettle: okok Ill let u get ur beauty sleep

Gn

PokimaineV2: more like good morning , but i’ll accept the attempt.

-

  
  


08:30 (BST)

PogChamp: @Kettle do I have to tho

Kettle: ye

PogChamp: what if I dont

Kettle: bye bye to base.

PogChamp: UGH!!

_PogChamp_ has added _yesididthechikadanceshutupabo_

yesididthechikadanceshutupabo: Woah what’s this??

PogChamp: idk ask dream

Kettle: u said u wanted to get to know us better 

yesididthechikadanceshutupabo: That is correct.

I also want in on the script but that can be discussed in the fine print later ifyaknowwhatimean?????????????

loverboi: Ranboo u numb nut I shared it with u on docs did u not get it?  
  


yesididthechikadanceshutupabo: ...really?

Ohhh wait is your email pleasetellme.impretty@gmail.com ?

loverboi: its not my fault that 12 year old wil isn’t funny

Bayblade: probably self conscious, u werent that funny dude

Loverboi: fukc off

Phil: Hey guys, toast or waffles?

yesididthechikadanceshutupabo: I know I dont live in the house but have you tried salmon with bagels???

Phil: We don’t have any bagels, and that means we would have to go to the store and get it, which I frankly do not have the time nor care in the world to do.

yesididthechikadanceshutupabo: bruh

PogChamp: what about… toast AND waffles?

Tuba: yeah yeah YEAH!!! N then u can put the toost ON the woffle.

PogChamp: TOFFLE TOWER

Tuba: WHOOOOO

Phil: Nope, not doing that shite

Tuba: but why Philza Minecraft??????

Phil: Because I’m going to make the food, and nobody’s gonna finish it because “Oh Phil its too much!” 

Tuba: Ill com over then, its been awhile rite?

PogChamp: Mario kart 8?  
  


loverboi: only if i get to main as shy guy.

PogChamp: deal

yesididthechikadanceshutupabo: do we just talk about food here or?  
  


Kettle: pretty much

Although, bad hasn’t been replying as much as he used to…

MuffinMan: oh dont worry dreamie poo im just really tired from the whole rona thing you know

Ah language, im gonna sleep -_-

Snipsnap: GeorgeV2

PokimaineV2: ^^^^^^^^^^^^

PogChamp: hmmm, what if

_PogChamp_ changed _MuffinMan’s_ username to _GeorgeV2_

PokimaineV2: deserved

GeorgeV2: 0_0

Crown™: I decide to take a break after a month of moving and this is what I come back to?

Phil: Hey, welcome back mate.

Bayblade: didya miss us

Crown™: mmh, not really no

loverboi: hey eret

Crown™: yeah

loverboi: people say we look alike

Crown™: is it because we are both british, tall men 

loverboi: with curly hair and deep voice yeah yeah yeah

PogChamp: must suck to suck LOL

Phil: Tommy answer the door goddamnit, I don’t want to burn the batter!  
  


Tuba: yeah open!! Its getting cold

PogChamp: tech do it

Bayblade: meh

… alright fine

PogChamp: just admit it pig boy, ur my bitch

Bayblade: u wanna say that to me in person, blond baby

PogChamp: come into my room and greet me bacon

Tuba: okay, so I’m going to just skip that and eat toost 

Phil: that would probably be the better option.

  
  
  
  



	10. A/N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I talk about stuff

Hello, it’s me the author  
Firstly, I just want to tell you guys how grateful I am for the support that you’ve given this work, all the kudos, comments, reads actually brighten my day. As cliche as it sounds, I never thought I would have gotten over 100 if I’ll be honest with you, so 4800 is more than I could have ever dreamed of getting.

Now, to get to the reason why I’ve written this in the first place, it’s because of this ugly little thing called inconsistency. I love writing crack and fluffy fics, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that how much can I write of something before I over exert it. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I’ve hit a burn out, more specifically through this fic. I don’t know, I feel like all the group chat funnies have been whipped away and I’m kind of just waving about with nothing new to post.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I write a lot of other stuff unrelated to this fic, mostly angst, mostly one shots, some collections here and there but those fics are what I’ve found actual joy in writing. The oneshots help me creatively in pouring all my thoughts an ideas into a 1 to 2k story that I hope people enjoy. And this fic did too, for a while, until I felt like doing this had become a chore that I’d felt guilty for not completing. 

Now this might sound like a goodbye, but it’s not. I’m sure that in a few months time I’ll have the sudden urge to upload more texting stuff, so I’m leaving that possibility open. I am a rather spontaneous person after all. 

If you’ve gotten this far, thank you for reading through this PSA, and yeah, if you want to support me, that’s fine. And if you don’t, that’s fine too.

Wishing you all the best   
Smudge :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I know it’s an overdone concept but I’ve been sitting on this bad boy for a while... 
> 
> Aight, don’t expect any schedules I’m only updating if I suddenly feel like writing something down, so don’t miss it too much.


End file.
